I’m back to finding that feeling of balance in my life again!

If you know me, you’ll know that balance is everything to me. I value the word and its meaning so much & I think it is something that we should all prioritise because I feel that with balance comes this sustainable happy + healthy lifestyle.

Before I came to the UK, I was in such a good place with balance – there were no extremities & the hard work was just so perfectly balance with the good times. But uprooting to a new country bought with it massive lifestyle changes & I just wasn’t able hold onto this balanced lifestyle that I was so effortlessly living before.

Emotionally, I was in the worst place of my life. I thought it was pretty obvious, but I have to come learn that many people, not even my best friends, had realised this – I am way better at keeping my feelings in then I knew haha! But anyway, think I cried myself to sleep most of my first few months here & as a result, my physical self became a reflection of my internal emotions. 

And I was living in extremities.

  • Exercising so hard, but with no motivation and not honouring when my body needed rest. I’ve always moved because I flipping love it, but I was feeling like I was constantly forcing myself to.
  • Not eating enough during the day or week, but then binging in the evenings or on weekends. I was restricting myself from foods, just to end up over indulging. So so bad.
  • Drinking a lot more then I’d ever usually do, which was just making me feel worse. I’ve never really had to think about this, I’ve always had a really balanced and healthy relationship with alcohol. & I wouldn’t say that it got really bad here, but it was something I was thinking about which I had never had to before.
  • I was having this terrible Monday to Friday I can’t do or eat x, y and z mindset. This is genuinely the worst way to live & I just can’t believe I let myself do this?!
  • I WAS BEING SO HARD ON MYSELF and it was a shit, destructive cycle. The self love was just not present and thinking about this makes me sad.

And I hid a lot of this, very well. I also think I was in denial too, so its looking back that I am really like woah. I’m only able to speak about this now because I am through it. I’m so through the worst of it and I especially in the last month and a half, I’ve felt so like Cha again. I’ve had my excitement + motivation for life back & I don’t ever want to lose this again.

The reason I am sharing this is because this experience taught me a lot. I definitley realised how much of a safe space and a constant my yoga practice is to me, whether I was physically practicing or meditating, which I am so grateful for. But the most important lesson I learnt was – YOU ARE IN CONTROL. I had to change the way I was thinking about everything I was going through to get myself out of this. 

We only have one existence here as the exact beings we are now, so make it good. Do what makes you happy, say no to what doesn’t. Fuck, life is way to short to be so hard on ourselves. Find your balance & what makes YOU happy, in your unique life. 

& here’s to loving ourselves more in this process.